Death, the Avoided Topic: How to work with Loss. 

During the past year, I have experienced two close deaths (ok, one was a pet). It’s taken time to fully appreciate the impact this has had on me. I’ve learned some fundamental lessons throughout this process, and how some of my narratives about death have been informed by my background, and society’s expectations of the expression of death.

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shirlee kay
How Supervision Serves the Client

It is widely accepted that all counsellors, whether experienced or starting out, will benefit from regular professional supervision. A supervisor acts in a mentoring role, providing emotional support as well as information and guidance.
Geldard and Geldard (2001).

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shirlee kay
The Use of Antidepressants in Therapy

My views on antidepressants have changed over the years. Where I was once not in favour of their use, I now see their benefits with clients. The problem is that most antidepressants are too freely given out without thought or proper assessment and there is rarely follow up with clients to reassess their progress.

It is important to say that feeling low at times is part of the human experience and allows us the opportunity to know ourselves better and helps us to manage these feelings as they come and go.

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shirlee kay
Working with Transgenders

transgender

/tranzˈdʒɛndə,transˈdʒɛndə/

adjective 

denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

Over the past few years I have had the opportunity of working with two transgender individuals. It has challenged my assumptions, my unconscious prejudices and my ignorance about what it means to be transgender. 

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shirlee kay
Jealousy: How to embrace it and talk about it

Dr. Ari Kiev, a New York psychiatrist, who has written on the subject of jealousy, calls it “the most painful” of human emotions. He claims that jealousy often strikes in the early stages of a relationship when the couple have not developed a sufficiently strong “sense of self” and are prone to doubts and suspicions. It then invariable becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

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Working with long term relationships

Recently, I have found myself working with couples who have been together for a long time. Sometimes for decades. They often come to see me not because there is something horribly wrong with their relationship but because they are struggling to find meaning and a deeper connection they long for. It’s as if having got through their professional lives, raising a family together and managing the difficulties life presents, they are left with a profound disappointment that begs the question “What has this all meant?”

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The modern wedding

This past weekend, the nation and the world witnessed yet another Royal Wedding with all the familiar sense of excitement and commentary that goes along with this joyful event. Yet, this wedding was different. Harry, born into royalty and 6th in line to be King married an American actress of mixed race, divorced and with a less than traditional family. Yes. This is the modern family!

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Couples come in many surprising ways...

Traditionally, a couple is defined as two people involved in a committed relationship and who are (usually) in a sexual relationship. In the past few years, individual clients have asked if I could see them and a member of their family or a close friend in a therapeutic setting. The prospect of this both intrigued and slightly intimidated me. As a couple’s therapist I am trained to work with two people but had never worked with this type of dynamic.

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